Falling Star
by KittieKat121
Summary: Alicia Star was the main attraction at Chiniselli Circus - the beautiful fearless girl with no limits. But after a terrible accident means she can't perform anymore, plain old Alice Cullen is left to deal with a circus life with no performing. Alice meets Jasper when she's working as a fortuneteller, but she never predicted the epic journey their entwined future would hold... AH/AU
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I smiled prettily at the cheering crowds as I spun, my arms in the air above my head and my toes pointed at an angle any ballerina would be proud of. I dipped and jumped and danced as gracefully as the animal I was portraying deserved; a swan. My white corset was covered in silky feathers, and the short puffy skirt cascaded in a chaos of more soft fluffy feathers. White ribbons criss-crossed up my legs and arms, ending in pretty bows, and matching the white ribbon choker around my neck. My brown curls tumbled down my back, secured in place by a white headband sprouting two large white feathers. It matched the headdress of the horse I was balancing on as I continued my dance.

Andrea wasn't my favorite leading horse, but her smooth pure white coat was the perfect image to go with this dance. I refused to call her 'gray' rather than white, as she was far too elegant for that. When my dance came to an end, I jumped from Andrea's back and landed neatly and silently on my feet center stage as she ran through the exit doors to the animal's quarters.

The crowd applauded, but they didn't have long before the next act. Whilst 'Maximillion the Incredibly Fantastic Illusionist' or Maxy, as I called him – much to his annoyance – came onto the stage in all his flamboyance with Katerina (The trademark glamorous assistant) bouncing along behind him, I slipped backstage to change outfits. I could hear the crowd oooh-ing and ahhh-ing at the magic tricks appearing before their eyes as I slipped out of my white feathers and into my glittery pink and gold costume. After replacing the white feather headband with a pink and gold glittery flower hair accessory, and having my make-up quickly but expertly changed by Flo, I slipped back on stage.

Max and Katerina hadn't finished their act yet, so I went unnoticed as I silently climbed the ladder that led to the top of the tent. It wasn't until they took a bow and curtsey and a spotlight flashed onto me that the audience realised I was there. I smiled and fluttered my eyelashes just a little before stepping out onto the narrow tightrope. I didn't need a harness or a net, because I knew nothing bad would happen. That was probably what made me such an amazing performer – I had no fear. That was because I always knew if something was going to happen; if I would trip or fall or get hurt, and so I could avoid such circumstances from happening. It was a gift I suppose, that I had always had. Seeing the future.

Nothing was going to happen tonight, so the tightrope act went completely as planned and the audience watched in awe as the fearless girl before them jumped and spun and leapt along the rope that stretched way above their heads. The rest of the night went as usual; The clowns came out, the plate spinners and the 'monkey men' acrobats. Ronan was shot out of his cannon and joined me at the top of the tent and we swung on the trapeze, I did my act on the high hoop and on the ropes. And then the animals came out, and I performed with them along side Daisy and Lena.

I suppose I did a lot for in the show, I was the main attraction; the fearless Alicia Star. Of course, most of that was an act. My real name is Alice Cullen. My father is the owner and ringleader of Chiniselli Circus, so I suppose it was only natural for me to have a large part in it. It was my life – always had been. I guess the other part was my…ability, meant that I knew exactly what I should and shouldn't do, exactly what was too far and what was just far enough, and I guess that made me seem fearless and exciting. It made me _feel_ fearless and exciting.

After we all appeared on stage at the end of the show – me sitting astride Andrea, in a black copy of my swan outfit, with her in a matching black headdress – I collapsed in front of my dressing table as my friends (The people I considered to be my family) chatted around me excitedly.

"Alice you were brilliant as usual!" Lena told me as she looked into my mirror to adjust the hair clip that was falling out of place. I smiled at her.

"Thanks Lena, so were you." I told her and Katerina nudged me out of the way so she could begin peeling off the layer of make-up Flo had applied for her.

"Middy's pining for you." Daisy told me as she appeared in the dressing room doorway. I shot up at the sound of my darling horse's nickname. I went round to where the animals were kept and beamed as I saw him standing there in all his glory.

Midnight was the first horse I ever performed with, when he and I were both just young and still learning. He was a sleek jet black, with a pure white diamond on his head and a cluster of tiny white diamonds on his hind. I had always thought they looked like stars against a midnight sky – hence the name. I stroked my fingers through his silky black mane gently as I remembered those times when I would perform on Middy every night. He was getting older now, and I couldn't do all the tricks with him that I used to, but he was still my favorite.

In my black swan outfit I was blending against Midnight's black coat quite nicely, but that didn't stop Max from interrupting my reminiscing. "Hey shortie."

I wasn't _that_ short. At 19 years old I stood at just over 5ft 3inch, and it actually _benefited_ my performing, but Max still found it as an excuse to tease me. "Hey Maxy."

He pulled a face at the name, but it didn't stop him walking over and grinning at Midnight. "Still got this old thing?"

"Shut up." I told him, covering Midnight's ears protectively.

No one _disliked_ each other in our little mis-match family, because that led to fights and complications. Lena and Daisy were my best friends, Katerina was like a sister to me. Ronan was the loving big brother I'd never had, and the animals gave more love and friendship than I could ask for. The older performers were like my aunts, uncles, godparents, as well as my actual parents who lived here. But Max was just plain annoying. So, I didn't _dislike_ him, I just didn't _like_ him.

I said my goodbye's to Midnight and went back to the other performers with Max. Everyone looked glamorous and exotic, even though most of them had changed out of their costumes and into everyday clothes. Or what _we _call everyday clothes. I smiled at my friends – my family – and excused myself to go and get changed. When I got into my changing room I smiled at my reflection in the mirror surrounded by spotlights and fairylights. I lived a life most girls only dreamed about, and I loved every minute of it.

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Heyy hope you like the prologue :) If there's any confusion/questions just ask :)

(This is all human)

Please review :) :) :)


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_(Nearly two years later…)_

I shuffled the deck of cards absentmindedly in my hand, brushing a loose curl of hair out of my face and under the sparkly bandana that it was supposed to be hidden under. It was getting hot inside the little room, filled with candles and every wall draped with cloth and beads.

The entrance to the little tent was disturbed as someone lifted the flap to enter. I looked up to see a man, a little older than me. He was tall – around 6ft 3inch – and had honey blonde hair that hung messily around his collar, and he had beautiful brown eyes. I smiled at him from under my eyelashes and gestured for him to come inside. I could see the suspicious look in his eyes as he glanced around the little room, taking in the crystal ball and the tarot cards and all the other trinkets fortunetellers are supposed to have. He believed this was a hoax, a money making scheme. Most people did.

But there was something different about him. He smiled at me and sat down to the seat I gestured to across the table. I gazed into his eyes for a moment, my bright green orbs searching his brown ones for any clue of why I felt so drawn to him. I found nothing, and I got the impression I was making him uncomfortable, so I sat back in my seat and looked around the room.

"Bit tacky all this, isn't it?" I asked conversationally. The man didn't seem to know what to say to that, so he just followed my gaze around the room. "All this is just for show. Get the customer, tell them some dribble about how they're going to have a lucky break, and they walk away satisfied. But you know something? I feel like you're different. I feel like I need to _see_ you." The man was looking at me quizzically. I had no idea why I was saying all this. I smiled and shook my head, "I'm Alice by the way. Or Madame Alicia Fortunata, if you go by the sign above the door. Personally I think I'm too young to be called _Madame_ anything."

"So," I continued when the man didn't reply, "Do you want to see your future?"

"Isn't that the point of all this?" He asked gesturing around the room. I frowned.

"Sure, if you want me to stare into a glass ball that passes off as crystal and tell you some lie about all the success you're soon to have." I said with a shrug. He cocked an eyebrow at me, "Or I could tell you something that's one hundred percent genuine and all I need to do it is my mind."

"And why should I believe that any more than what the crystal ball tells me?" The man asked

"You don't have to believe it if you don't want to. I don't really expect you to." I said, "But I think you deserve the choice to know. Or not to know."

"Why wouldn't I want to know the future?" He asked

"Have you ever heard the expression 'With great power comes great responsibility'?" I asked

"Sure, Spiderman says it, right?" He asked and I couldn't stop myself rolling my eyes and snorting delicately.

"Right." I said, "Well knowing the future isn't always a good thing."

The man frowned, "Is this the way you talk to all your customers, because I can't imagine you get much business as a fortune teller if you tell people they shouldn't know the future."

"I'm not saying you shouldn't know the future." I said with a tinkling laugh, "I was merely warning you that the consequences can sometimes out way the benefits. But, by all means if you wish to know your future, I'll tell you it."

"Okay, tell me my future." He said.

I smiled, and pushed the 'crystal' ball to one side as I lay my hand on top of his. He shivered at the contact but I ignored it, focusing my thoughts on him – only him. A picture began to form in my mind.

"I see you…in a crowd." I said softy, "Everyone's cheering and clapping. You're happy. You're watching someone…someone performing. I think…I think you're at our circus." My eyes snapped open, "Did you watch the show tonight?"

"Yeah." He said, looking at me doubtfully

"Did you like it?" I asked

"Yeah." He said again

"Why are you back watching the same show?" I asked, but before he could answer I put my finger up to silence him and closed my eyes again. "The person you are watching…you know them." A frown formed on my face, "The vision is changing. You're standing outside somewhere…with a girl, I can't tell who she is. You're talking." I concentrated on listening to the conversation. "You say 'I'm Jasper. Jasper Hale.'" I opened my eyes and watched the man's face grow surprised as he realised that he hadn't told me his name, and I'd plucked it out of thin air. He was starting to believe. I closed my eyes again, but the vision had faded. "I'm sorry, that's all I see."

"So what does that tell me about my future?" Jasper asked.

"Not a lot." I admitted, "But hey, let's give the phony stuff a go and see if we can figure something out!"

I grabbed the tarot cards and splayed them out, cutting the deck into three. I placed a card in front of Jasper and we both looked down at it. "True love. You will soon discover love." I placed another card down. "New things. You will experience a change in your life that will bring you new chances." I placed down another card. "Challenge. You will be challenged – but the card is facing towards you. That means you will overcome the challenge."

"Is any of that true?" Jasper asked

"Who's to say?" I said with a shrug

"But do you believe it?" He prompted. I shrugged again.

"I can see into the future – why shouldn't these cards know fate too?" I said

"But you said they were phony!" Jasper said

"Many would say that I was a phony. I know that I am not, but who am I to tell one person that they are true and another that they are false?" I asked mysteriously

"You're talking in riddles." Jasper said.

"It's my job." I said with a grin

"So, tell me about your job." Jasper said leaning back in the chair. I was a bit shocked – no customer had ever asked about me before, they'd just wanted their future told and then had left. Then again, all those customers had been fed the nonsense gypsy fortuneteller act that I'd been truthful to Jasper about from the start.

"What do you want to know?" I asked

"How do you end up in a job like this? Living with the circus?" He asked. I considered my answer carefully. Those were two different questions with very different answers. I decided to answer the second question without dipping into the painful memories of the first.

"My father is the owner and ringmaster of the circus." I said, "I've lived here my whole life."

Jasper was looking at me with a kind of awe now, "That's awesome. So when did you become a fortune teller?"

We were back to the painful memories. For some reason, I felt like telling this complete stranger everything. Everything I hadn't talked about for the last year and a half, everything I had refused to acknowledge. "A little over a year. Before that I used to perform in the show."

"Wow, doing what?" Jasper asked eagerly

"A little bit of everything." I said, "Acrobatics, animal training, dancing…"

"Were you good?" Jasper asked and I couldn't help laughing.

"Good? I was amazing." I joked, "I was _Alicia Star_, main attraction of Chiniselli Circus, the girl with no fear, no limits."

"Wow. Seems like a lot to give up to become a fortuneteller." Jasper said.

That's when I realised I'd said too much. My joking and boasting had revealed so much about me. I lowered my head and said softly, "Having no fear and no limits isn't always a good thing. In fact it's a pretty damn dangerous thing."

When I looked up and met his eyes, Jasper looked so sympathetic I almost felt like he really understood what I had been through. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so nosy."

"Don't worry." I said, flashing a smile, "Now I get to meet people like _you_ and tell you all about your upcoming true love!"

Jasper seemed a little surprised by my sudden change in emotion, but rolled with it anyway, "Alright, tell me about this true love."

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Heyy, so how did you like the first chapter? I don't want to give too much away just yet, but if there are any questions please ask and i'll answer any that i can without revealing too much ;)

Thanks for the previous reviews, and please keep reviewing! :):)

Next update really soon :)


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was 6.14pm when Jasper came into my tent the next day – exactly 24 hours after he'd come the day before…it made me wonder whether he'd planned it, despite what he mumbled about coincidence as he sat in the seat opposite me with an embarrassed look on his face. He was only the second customer that day, and I welcomed him in.

"Back so soon?" I'd teased. He had stayed for a long time yesterday, and we'd talked about the future, and a little about the past. Though I tended to brush over quite a few details of my own past, I found it interesting to learn about Jaspers childhood. He'd lived in the same house with his parents all his life, until he moved out last year and got his own apartment not far away from them. In contrast to my life, he had never traveled further than the next city on, and had lived his life in the same town his parents and grandparents had lived their lives. I'd listened in fascination, asking questions and being pleasantly surprised when Jasper answered them openly and honestly. He seemed to sense I didn't like talking about my own past, so he only asked me general questions; What's traveling like? What countries have you been to? What are the other performers like?

"Couldn't stay away." Jasper told me, staring into the crystal ball like he could conjure up a picture of the future like in the movies, swirling in green mist and creepy music. I watched him carefully for a few minutes before realizing I was going to have to start the conversation.

"Did you come to find out more about your future?" I asked

Jasper shrugged, "Sure."

I rolled my eyes, but smiled at him, "So, what phony trick should we try today? Palm reading? Ancient runes?"

Jasper held out his hand, palm up, "Palm reading sounds fun."

"It is." I confirmed, taking his hand on my own and studying the creases and lines. His skin was soft and cool to the touch and it took me a while to focus on what I was actually supposed to be doing. "Are you right or left handed?"

"Right." He said. I nodded – it was his right hand that he had offered me.

"Right-handed people tend to be more logical, analytical, and clever." I told him and he raised his eyebrows, "It's a fact."

"Sure." Jasper said. I carried on.

"Your ring finger is short," I commented, studying his hand, "That shows blocked or unbalanced emotions."

"Makes sense." I thought I heard Jasper mutter under his breath, but I couldn't be sure.

"The index finger is also shorter which shows lack of confidence," I went on, "Your middle finger is most prominent, which suggests a serious and intense nature, and your little finger stands out naturally from your hand which shows a very independent nature."

Now tell me, what was an independent, intense, and serious man doing in my fortuneteller's tent for the second night in a row?

"You have a strong Life line." I told him, "Hardly any breaks except…this one. But this is an overlapping break – that means it's a positive change in your life." I smiled at him as he watched me, transfixed, "See how it branches off at the end towards your wrist? That means you will travel. The longer the branch is, the more and the further you will travel."

"That's a pretty long branch." Jasper commented

"Well, maybe your no-traveling lifestyle will change soon." I told him, raising an eyebrow before turning back to study his palm. "Your Head line is long and straight – that means you are a practical and logical person, but you can be over-analytical when it comes to love."

"Your Heart line is strong – this means you are very attuned to your emotions. It ends between the index and middle finger, which shows that you are passionate and emotional." I said. I was probably boring him with all my explanations, but he looked totally absorbed by my words, so I carried on, "Your Heart line is low down and close to your Head line, which means you are ruled by your emotions."

I thought I heard Jasper mutter something again, but I ignored it, and pointed below his index finger. "The ring of Solomon. Not everyone has it – but you have a very strong one. It shows understanding and empathy."

He was looking at me strangely now, "What?" I narrowed my eyes at him, "You don't believe any of this do you?"

He shook his head, "It's not that…"

"Then what?" I asked

"You just described my life to a tee." He told me and I grinned.

"I'm physic, what else would you expect?" I asked, "So, you're a logical and clever person who is controlled by emotion and is very empathetic?"

"Pretty much." He said, then he paused, seeming to consider whether he should say something. "It's more than empathy."

"What do you mean?" I asked

"I really feel other people's emotions." He told me. I tilted my head and waited for him to go on, "When people around me are upset, I don't just feel bad for them, I actually feel their sadness. Or when people are happy, I feel their happiness."

"How do you know it's not just empathy?" I asked curiously

"It's too extreme." He told me, "Say, for example, you cut your arm – I would feel that pain too. Or if you got a headache, I would get that headache too."

"Wow." I breathed. Sure, I could tell the future, so I shouldn't really have been surprised by this supernatural power, but it still amazed me. "That's so cool!"

"Not really." He said with a shrug, "It's not like I can predict the future or anything."

"Shut up!" I said, sticking my tongue out at him, "So is that all you came back for? To discover more of your fate?"

"I came to see you." Jasper admitted

"Little old me? Aww I'm flattered." I teased

"Don't be – I just figured a little compliment might get me free service." He joked, and I rolled my eyes.

"You didn't pay the first time, if I remember correctly." I said

"You told me I didn't have to!" Jasper defended. I shrugged. Truthfully, I'd been glad of the company last night, and considering we'd spent most of the time chatting rather than fortune telling, I didn't think it was fair to charge Jasper. I didn't really think it was fair today either, so I shrugged and pretended to give in.

"Okay, free service…I _suppose_." I said with an over-exaggerated sigh, "But! Only if you tell me what I'm feeling right now!"

"Do I have to?" Jasper asked

"I told you your future!" I persuaded, "Pretty please?"

"Mostly you feel happy." Jasper said, "You were curious when you were reading my palm, and you were excited when you saw me come in." I think I blushed a little. "But underneath it all, there's a permanent sadness and longing. Not quite coming to the surface, but always there. It…it was more obvious yesterday when you were talking about how you used to perform and…" He trailed off and then looked apologetic, "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. Now your sad again."

I shook the memory from my mind, "No I'm not."

He gave me a long, hard look but I turned my head away so I was staring at the decorated wall instead of back at his own eyes. We sat in silence for a moment, before Jasper said, "I should probably go."

I shrugged, still not looking back at him. "If you want."

I heard him sigh as he stood up. I turned back and gave him the best smile I could conjure up as I said goodbye. The smile he gave me in return was genuine, which made me feel worse for ignoring him. Before I had time to think about it, he was gone. I slumped down in my chair, staring at the flap of the tent where Jasper had left.

I sighed. There was something about that man…

~o.O.o~

"Alice!" A shrill voice trilled as Lena lifted the flap of the tent.

"Hey Lena." I said with a smile, welcoming some company. I hadn't had any more customers after Jasper had left almost an hour ago.

"How's your day been?" Lena asked

"Boring, as per usual." I said. Lena pulled a sympathetic face, "Yours?"

"It's been brilliant!" Lena said, "Daisy showed me this new acrobatics move where your kind of lifted up and you flip around and…"

I stopped listening to Lena's chattering, describing her busy day of rehearsing and performing in that night's show. Lena meant well, and she was a lovely girl, but she didn't understand how hard it was for me to hear about the circus, knowing that I couldn't join in and perform like I used to. I guess I couldn't really moan about the fact that she didn't understand – I'd never explained it to her. Still, it was hard for me to be around Lena sometimes. She was bubbly and energetic and very OTT enthusiastic. To be honest, she was the mirror image of me.

"Alice?" She called, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah? Sorry." I said

"I said are you ready to go?" Lena asked giving me an odd look

"Oh yeah, sure." I said.

I picked up my crutch from where it was hidden under the table and Lena helped me up, guiding me out of the tent as I lent half on the crutch and half on her for support. We made our way across the field and over to the trailers, where Lena helped me up the steps and opened the door for me into my trailer.

"See you tomorrow, Lena." I said

"Sleep well." Lena called over her shoulder as she waved and headed off to her own trailer. I waved back and shut the door on the cold night.

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Hope you liked it :) :) :)

R&R


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I glided through the entrance to the ring, standing on Melissa's back - she was a beautiful sand-coloured horse with a creamy white mane and tail. The crowd were already applauding as the clowns lumbered off stage, but it grew louder when they saw me. Alicia Star, the main event of Chiniselli Circus. Melissa circled the ring a few times as I danced on her back, and then I jumped away from her as she passed the ladder at the edge of the ring. She ran through the exit, where I knew she would be taken back to the animal's quarters, as I landed delicately on the ladder and began to climb._

_Ronan was already at the top, waiting for me on the opposite side of the tent. He grinned at me. No matter how many shows we performed, every stunt was still just as exiting as the very first time. Ronan swung towards me on the trapeze, and jumped, landing beside me on the platform. I looked up at him - he was taller than me, most people were - with a grin on my own face._

_"Let's do this, _Alicia_." He whispered with a wink. I rolled my eyes as he said my stage name with sarcasm._

_"Ready?" I whispered back._

_"Born ready." He said, and he grabbed my hand and jumped towards the trapeze._

~o.O.o~

To my surprise, Jasper was back the next day. I had been worried that I might have offended him by ignoring him, but he grinned at me sheepishly as he lifted the tent flap. I raised my eyes at him.

"You come to find out your future?" I asked

"Something like that." He said, sitting down in the chair opposite me. I looked around the room.

"I can try looking into your future again." I said

"Sure." Jasper said. We were both talking a little awkwardly - I guess we didn't know how to act after how we'd left it yesterday. I closed my eyes and focused on Jasper.

"You're...sorting through clothes...I think you're packing them into a bag." I narrated my vision, "I looks like a suitcase. Like you're going to travel somewhere. You're putting in a lot of stuff; photo albums, clothes, books, a...is that a pillow you're trying to stuff in there?" I laughed a little, "You can't get the suitcase done up, it's so full! Where on earth are you going that you need that much stuff? Oh my God! You just turned around and you have another two suitcases full!"

The vision faded and I opened my eyes. Jasper was staring at me, "Where the hell am I going?"

"I don't know." I admitted

"Why am I leaving? When am I going to go? Who am I going with? How long will I be gone for?" Jasper fired questions at me.

"I don't know what else I can tell you." I said. Jasper didn't say anything for a moment, then he looked away from me, down at his hands.

"It doesn't matter." He said quietly. "I didn't come to find out my future. I only came to see you, really." He glanced up and I caught his gaze. "I'm sorry if I went too far yesterday."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't be sorry. I overreacted. You just...never mind. It's a delicate subject."

Jasper's eyes grew sympathetic, "Well, I'm sorry anyway."

We sat in silence for a few moments, until I couldn't take it anymore. "How's your day been?"

"It's been okay, I guess." Jasper said, "I've got no job and no money, there isn't much to do on a Saturday. What about you?"

"Saturday's the busiest day of all." I said, "We have a show during the day and one later on. I've had little kids in here all day demanding to know if the actors from Disney Chanel are going to fall in love with them in the future."

"What do you tell them?" Jasper asked

"I tell them that I see many paths for their future, and that they're going to find love and success with whatever celebrity they want." I said, "They leave happy and their parents pay for the service."

"Do you ever tell them their real futures?" He asked

"Not usually with the kids." I said, "They wouldn't understand most of it anyway. And sometimes...sometimes it's too bad."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked

"Some of them will grow up to be teenagers in gangs that go around mugging people. Some will end up in dead end jobs that they hate and that pay so little that they have to live in a crummy apartment with four other roommates. Some will die before they make it to the age of 15." I said, "I can't tell little kids stuff like that. It's bad enough that I know and can't do anything to stop it, without telling little kids and their parents that they're effectively doomed."

"Wow." Jasper said, "I never thought of seeing the future in a bad way."

"It's a gift and a curse." I told him, "Sometimes I wish I couldn't see the future at all. I think life would be easier that way. Less regret and less guilt."

"Regret?" Jasper asked. I watched him for a moment.

"If you could see the future, and you saw something that was going to happen...something bad...would you change it?" I asked, "Would you change the future and get rid of that bad thing, or would you let fate take it's course?"

"I guess...I guess I would change it." Jasper said, "Wouldn't you? If you could stop something bad happening? If you had the power to do that?"

I nodded slowly, "Yes. But I don't always have the power to change it. Sometimes the future is so set in stone that one way or another, it's going to happen anyway."

"So you regret not changing things? Not being able to change them?" Jasper asked. I forced my eyes away from his, and looked at the wall.

"What if I did something that I thought would change the future, but it wasn't enough?" I asked

"It's not your fault!" Jasper said, "You don't decide what's going to happen!"

"But like you said, if you can stop something bad happening, then you should, right?" I said

"And like you said, some things can't be changed. Some things are going to happen, whether you try to change them or not." Jasper shot back. My eyes flicked back to his face, then I looked away again.

"It's easy to talk about it." I said, "But that doesn't mean it's easy living with it. Knowing that things might have been different."

"What..." Jasper hesitated

"Go on." I prompted, turning back to face him completely.

"You don't have to answer." Jasper said quickly. I raised my eyebrows. "What was this terrible thing that you regret?"

A few seconds of silence went by before I sighed, "There are lots of things I regret."

Jasper didn't push me to explain, or demand answers. He didn't ask for more information, or make me tell him what I meant. That just made me want to tell him even more. He waited patiently, letting me make my own mind up about how much I should say. It was strange, feeling this with a man that I had only met a few days ago, but I felt like I could tell Jasper anything. That I could open up to him and he would understand.

"You asked me why I gave it all up." I said, "Why I gave up performing and became a fortune teller."

"I told you, you don't have to tell-" Jasper began

"No. I want to." I said. Jasper waited. "It's kind of a long story."

"We have time." Jasper said

"No we don't." I said with a groan as Lena bounced into the tent.

"Alice, we're closing up!" She said, then she noticed Jasper, "Hey, weren't you here yesterday?"

"Lena, this is Jasper." I said, "Jasper, this is Lena."

"Pleased to meet you Jasper! Are you a friend of Alice's?" Lena didn't give Jasper time to respond before she carried on speaking, "I'm a performer at the circus. Me and Alice used to perform together in fact! You know..."

I had tuned out again when Lena had started talking about performing. Did she have to bring it up every time she was around me? I could feel Jasper's eyes watching me, curious at my reaction to Lena.

"Alice?" Lena said

"Yeah?" I asked

"Are you listening?" She asked

"Yeah, sure." I said, "You were talking about the circus." As always, I almost added.

"Right. Anyway," Lena turned back to Jasper, "How do you know Alice?"

"We met a few days ago, here actually." Jasper said, not taking his eyes off of me as I slumped down in my chair.

"Aww, cute!" Lena said, "Alice, I'm going to my trailer, are you coming now or what?"

"Yeah, give us a minute?" I asked. I would have loved to have said no. To have spent more time with Jasper and to have made my own way back to my trailer when I was done. But that would have been impossible. I needed Lena to help me back to my trailer every night. It was the only way I could walk.

"Alright, whatever." Lena said, bouncing back outside.

"Sorry, I guess I have to go." I said to Jasper. He looked disappointed, "Are you coming back tomorrow?"

"Try and keep me away." Jasper said with a smirk

"I'll see you then, I guess." I said

"Bye, Alice." Jasper said.

"Bye." I said with a smile, and then Jasper left. Lena bounced back in.

"Ready?" She asked, offering me her arm.

"Sure." I said

* * *

Firstly, sorry I took so long to update!

Secondly, thanks to everyone who's reviewed, followed, or favourited! :) :)

And thirdly, how did you like the chapter? Review :) :) :)

Next update soon :)


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Alice?" A voice and a knock at my trailer door woke me up with a jolt.

"Dad?" I asked, rubbing my eyes to adjust to the morning light that was spilling through the window. "Uh...come in Dad."

Carlisle Cullen, or Ringmaster Chiniselli as his fans knew him, came into my trailer with his usual smile on his face. "Hi darling."

"Hey Dad." I said as I pulled myself into a sitting position on the bed. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you-" He began, but was interrupted by another knock at the door.

"Wakey wakey Alice!" Lena trilled

"Come in Lena." I called and she bustled through the door. What was with all the early visits this morning?

"Oh, hey Carlisle." Lena said to Dad, "Sorry, but I'm gunna have to borrow Alice for a little while."

"What's up?" I asked

"A certain man who goes by the name of Jasper is here to see you." Lena said. _What?_ "And we need to get you all prettified in record time."

"Who's Jasper?" Dad asked

"No one." I said, "Can we talk later, Dad?"

"Sure." He said, "But I really need to talk to you."

"That's fine." I said. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before leaving.

"Right. Let's do this." Lena said, hands on hips.

~o.O.o~

Ten minutes later, Lena had dressed me in a high-waisted dark blue denim shorts and a thick light pink sweater tucked in. Since my shift didn't start until much later, I didn't need to wear my fortune tellers get up. I hadn't protested when she'd started on my hair and make-up. I felt a bit stupid getting all made up for Jasper, but at the same time I _wanted_ to look good. Lena finished my make up and opened the trailer door for me.

And that's when I realised my biggest problem. Jasper had only ever seen me sat down. What would he think when he saw me walking with a crutch and leaning on Lena for support? I hadn't gotten round to telling him about the accident yesterday.

"Oh god, Lena! I don't think I can do this!" I said, "He doesn't know!"

"Know what?" Lena asked. I gave her a look. "Oh. Oh! Well don't worry about it!"

"Don't worry about it?" I asked, gaping at her.

"Come on Alice, when have you ever been shy about it?" Lena asked.

"I'm not going out there." I said.

"Oh yes you are!" Lena said, taking my arm and propelling me forward (Which was harder to do when the person you're dragging along can't walk.)

"Lena!" I complained as she took me across the field. Jasper was stood near the entrance, watching me and Lena with a frown. Lena smiled at him when we stopped next to him, whist I just glared at Lena.

"Alice! What happened?" Jasper asked, his voice laced with worry. He thought that this had happened since he saw me yesterday, when I had appeared to be completely fine.

"We need to talk." I said. I looked across at Lena, who didn't move. "Lena?"

"Yep?" She asked innocently. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Jasper.

"You're going to have to help me." I said. Without question he took my arm for support and I led us away from the circus entrance and from Lena. When we were completely alone, I stopped and turned to face him.

"What the hell happened to you last night?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing." I said

"Nothing?" Jasper asked, "You can hardly walk!"

"Nothing happened last night." I said, "But something did happen two years ago."

"_Two years_?" Jasper echoed. Realisation flickered across his face. "You've been this way for two years?" I nodded, "And that's why you stopped performing?" I nodded again, "Oh Alice."

Suddenly his strong arms were wrapped around me. A single tear slid down my cheek, even though I hadn't cried since that day two years ago. I wiped it away in surprise. "I never finished telling you last night."

"Tell me now." Jasper said softly

"Two years ago there was...an accident." I said, "Whilst I was performing. I was in a coma for a couple of weeks, and when I woke up I was like this. I can't walk without help, and I can never perform again."

It wasn't the whole story, but I couldn't relive all of that again. It was enough for now to just tell Jasper the basics of what had happened that day. Jasper was watching me carefully, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

I shrugged, "I was going to last night, and then Lena came...sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"I'm so sorry Alice." He said

"Don't be. You get used to it." I said. It was kind of a lie. You never truly got used to needing help to walk, or not being able to go anywhere by yourself.

"So...how bad is it?" Jasper asked, carefully.

"I can walk a little bit with a crutch, but I'm not supposed to really. I need someone to help me most of the time." I said, "When I first got out of hospital I had a wheelchair, but I got a bit stronger and now I can at least stand up by myself. Well...with the help of _this_ at least." I gestured to my crutch.

"So you didn't stop performing voluntarily?" Jasper asked. I laughed.

"No. I would never stop voluntarily." I said, "I would do anything to be able to perform again. It was my life - It was everything!"

"That's so unfair." Jasper said

"Life is unfair." I told him.

Neither of us said anything for a while, before Jasper spoke up. "You look nice."

"Uh...thanks?" I said, a little flustered by the sudden compliment.

"I mean, you always look nice," Jasper corrected, "But just...you know what I mean."

"Yeah." I said, smiling at Jasper.

"Can I ask you something?" Jasper asked.

"Sure, but I don't have all my gypsy fortune teller props with me." I joked.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, I do." I said, a smile playing on my lips, "Why?"

"No reason." Jasper said, "I just thought someone like you might know."

"Someone like me?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"With your unnatural abilities of seeing the future and all." Jasper said, "I dunno, I thought you might know things like that."

"I don't _know,_" I said, "But I believe."

"Me too." Jasper said. There was another pause. "How come you're not working?"

"The first show today doesn't start until 3," I said, "I start my shift just before that, when all the customers come. There's no one around this early."

"Oh." Jasper said, "That makes sense. I thought I'd find you in your tent, though."

"I was asleep." I told him.

"Oh, did I wake you? I'm sorry." Jasper said

"No, my Dad had already woken up." I said, "He wanted to talk to me or something."

"Am I keeping you? I can leave..." Jasper said

"No! No! Don't worry about it!" I said, "I'd rather be here with you anyway."

"Really?" Jasper asked

"Really." I said, "Hey, come on, I want to show you something!"

I lent on Jasper for support as I led him round to where all the animals were kept. Midnight trotted over as soon as he saw me and I stroked his mane. "This is Midnight. Don't tell the other horses, but he's my favourite."

Jasper laughed, "How many are there?"

"We have 7 now." I said, "We used to have more, but now that I don't perform we don't need as many."

I led Jasper into the tent where the other horses were, Midnight following us. I introduced the horses to Jasper one at a time; Andrea with her white coat and mane, Melissa who's coat was sand coloured and mane and tail were creamy white, Lucy who was bay - chestnut coloured with black mane and tail, Ricky who was a brown heavy horse with white ankles, Suzie who had a chestnut coat tail and mane, and finally Blaze with his brown and white pinto coat and half white half brown tail and mane. I petted each horse, but Blaze wouldn't come near me.

"Blaze is...difficult." I said, "All the others have been here since I was performing, but Blaze got here a couple of months ago. We got him cheap but we had no idea _why_ he was so cheap. He won't let anyone ride him, or even come near him."

"Why d'you keep him?" Jasper asked

"It's not worth selling him and I won't let them shoot him." I said

"They tried to kill him?" Jasper asked

"He's not useful, and it costs to feed him and keep him." I explained, "But I wouldn't allow it. It's not fair."

"I agree." Jasper said

"I used to love riding them." I said and I couldn't stop a sigh escaping my lips as I stroked Suzie's head.

"Why don't you ride now?" Jasper asked, "I mean, I know you can't walk but can't you ride?"

"I could." I said, "They won't let me."

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"They're scared that if I fall off I could hurt myself." I said, rolling my eyes, "As if I haven't fallen off a horse a thousand times before."

"I can see where they're coming from," Jasper said, stroking Lucy, "But it seems unfair."

"Tell me about it." I said.

"Can I take you out somewhere?" Jasper said suddenly, "You must be so sick of the circus."

I stared at him for moment. I hadn't really been out of the circus since the accident - not by choice, just because it was so inconvenient an there wasn't much reason for me to want to go out anyway. Well, I had a reason now. "Sure. When?"

"Now?" Jasper suggested. I looked across at him. I should really ask Dad first. Or at least tell someone...but I was so tired of relying on people all the time and being treated like a little kid! I was 18 - I could go out if I wanted, and I shouldn't have to ask permission!

"'Kay." I said, and I walked with Jasper to the circus entrance. No one was around to see us cross the threshold an step out into the big wide world. I smiled as Jasper led me down the street, thinking of every possible place he might be taking me...

* * *

I feel bad about taking so long to update :/:/ But I hope you liked the chapter...thanks to all the reviewers! I'll try and write the next chapter soon! :):):):):)


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_I felt the air whip around me as I flew through the air, my hand firmly clasping Ronan's. He had his legs wrapped around the trapeze, his face grinning down at me as we swung. He let go of my hand and I spun, allowing him to catch my feet instead. The crowd below clapped as I jumped and grabbed hold of the next trapeze. For them, this was the stuff of dreams; to be a circus performer._

_As I swung to the next trapeze, I searched the audience. Somewhere out there was a man who could potentially put a lot of money into our circus - if we performed well tonight, that is. If we could impress him enough, it could mean great things for us. Travelling to Europe, performing in England and France and Italy. Collecting new performers, new acts, expanding our family. It was a lot of pressure, but there was no doubt that we could do it._

_After all, we had Alicia Star - the fearless girl. I grinned at Ronan as he caught me once again, content in knowing that our act was going to be flawless. Perfect, as always. Everything in my life was perfect._

~o.O.o~

"Where do you want to go?" Jasper asked me.

"Anywhere." I told him, gazing around. We'd been in this town for almost a month now, but I hadn't been out of the circus once. The town wasn't anything particularly special - houses, trees, shops, all the usual stuff - but I hadn't seen anything but tents and trailers for months.

"Coffee?" Jasper offered.

"Sounds good." I told him. To be honest, I had to go wherever he went, seeing as he was pretty much the only thing keeping me standing right now.

He led me to a little coffee shop and opened the door for me. He sat me down at a table near the door, so that I didn't have to walk far. "What do you want?"

"Caramel latte." I told him. My favourite drink from back when I regularly went out with the other performers for coffees and shopping trips.

"Got it." Jasper said, going up to the counter to order our drinks. He returned in a few minutes and placed the drink in front of me.

"Thanks." I said, smiling at him. I realised that I hadn't offered to pay, which I probably should have. Except for the small problem that I had no money.

"When do you start work today?" He asked, but I wasn't listening. I was having a vision; a vision of me and Jasper. It wasn't a very exciting vision - we were just sat around talking. What was interesting was that it would take place a year from now. Which ment I would still be with Jasper a year from now. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Why did you ask to take me out?" I asked suddenly.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Why do you keep coming to see me at the circus?" I asked.

"Because...I like you." Jasper admitted.

"Like me?" I asked, "Or _like_ me?"

Jasper laughed, "The second one, I guess."

"You don't want to be with a girl like me." I told him. Jasper raised an eyebrow.

"Don't I?" He asked.

"I can't even walk by myself." I said.

"So?" He asked, seeming not to see the problem.

"What do you mean 'so?' ?" I asked, "Who wants to be with a girl who can't walk?"

"I do." Jasper said solemly.

"Then you're crazy. No one deserves that." I told him.

"You shouldn't think like that." Jasper told me. I knew he had a point; I knew I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. But was anything ever that simple?

"Well I do." I snapped, "I hate being like this."

"You'd be crazy not to." Jasper said, "But that doesn't mean you can't find happiness."

"I haven't been happy in two years." I told him. Jasper looked like he was about to say something, but stopped himself. "What?"

"You were happy today." He said, "When I asked you out."

I met his gaze, "For a brief moment, maybe."

"Two years isn't a very long time." Jasper said, "But eventually, you'll be happy again."

I shook my head, "Not like this. I'll never be happy like this."

"Not if you don't want to be." Jasper reasoned.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, "Of course I _want_ to be happy! Who wouldn't?"

Jasper shrugged, "You're so convinced that you'll never be happy that when you _do_ find happiness, you'll let it slip right past you."

I didn't say anything, because I couldn't imagine a life where I was happy and wasn't able to perform. The two seemed mutually exclusive to me. Jasper seemed to understand that I didn't want to talk about it any more, so he changed the subject. That was fine with me - talking about something else, _anything_ else, was just fine. And here with Jasper, I felt like I could talk for hours.

~o.O.o~

Lena charged towards me as soon as she noticed me and Jasper coming through the circus gates. "Where the hell have you been, Alice? Your dad's been going crazy!"

I bit my lip, "We went for coffee."

Lena raised an eyebrow and glanced at Jasper, "Did you take care of her?"

"Lena!" I protested, "I don't need taking care of!"

Lena ignored my protests, "You need to talk to your dad, come on."

She took my arm and starting leading me away from Jasper. I glanced back and called to Jasper, "Bye!"

"Bye, Alice." He called back, and then Lena pulled me round a corner and he disappeared from sight.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Lena hissed.

"What?" I asked.

"Going out alone like that!" She said.

"I wasn't alone!" I protested.

"And _he_ knows how to look after you, does he?" Lena asked.

"I don't _need_ looking after!" I told her, "I'm eighteen years old!"

"What if something had happened?" Lena asked. She was acting like my mother, not my best friend.

"Like what?" I asked, "What's the worst that could happen?"

Lena was about to tell me when she was interrupted. "Alice! _There_ you are! Where have you been?"

I turned around to see Dad standing behind me. "I was-"

"She was in her trailor!" Lena interrupted. I shot her a curious look, but she ignored me, "She's been moving around and we kept missing her everywhere we looked!"

"I was really worried, Alice!" Dad told me.

"Why?" I asked, "I was fine."

"Yes, well, don't scare me like that again!" He said. Why did they all have to treat me like a child? I was eighteen! Just because I couldn't walk didn't mean I couldn't look after myself! "I still need to talk to you."

"I've got an hour before my shift starts." I told him.

"Come and sit down in my office." He said, taking my arm so that I could take my weight off of Lena and onto him instead.

We got to his office and he sat he down on his sofa, whilst he leant against his desk. He was talking, but I couldn't concentrate on what he was saying. My vision from earlier was playing on repeat in my head. Jasper and I, together. I liked that thought.

The vision was expanding, creating new visions and showing me more of the future. Jasper and I, still together. Two years, five years, twenty years. It was only a possibility - in no way definite as my visions sometimes were - but it was one that I clung desperately to. I wanted that, so badly. Despite only knowing him for a few days, I didn't want to be apart from him.

"Alice!" Dad interrupted my thoughts and I realised I hadn't been listening.

"Yep?" I asked, trying to push away thoughts of Jasper. All of those thoughts and hopes were crushed by the next words out of my father's mouth.

"We're moving on." He said.

"What?" I asked, staring at him.

"It's time to go to the next town."

* * *

Arrrgghhh, sorry this took so long to get out! Been SUPERRRR busy and then my internet stopped working :(:( But anyway, here it is! REVIEW! :)


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"What?" I asked again, staring at my father.

"We've been here for nearly a month." He told me.

It wasn't a big deal; we always moved on - that's what being in a circus was about! We'd be back in a year or two to do it all again. It had never mattered before, but now a year or two seemed like a long time.

A long time without Jasper.

"Can't we stay a little longer?" I asked.

"There are no more scheduled shows after tonight." Dad said, "We've already stayed longer than we planned. Why do you want to stay, anyway?"

I shrugged, unsure of what to say. How could I say that I wanted to stay because of Jasper? I couldn't even explain it to myself - I hadn't even known him a week, and yet as soon as Dad had said the words, I knew I couldn't leave him.

What about my vision? Me and Jasper, together in years to come. I clung desperately to the vision as the future began to blur and change, more and more possible outcomes coming to the surface.

"Alice, are you okay?" Dad asked, looking at me with a worried expression.

"Yeah." I said absently, "My shift starts soon."

"I'll take you to your tent." Dad said, the worry not completely disappearing from his face. Then again, he always looked worried when it was anything to do with me. Since the accident, anyway.

Dad helped me up and we walked over to my fortune tellers tent. He smiled reassuringly, "You'll love the next place."

How could I love it? I wouldn't be able to go out and see it. All I would ever see would be people coming to get their fortunes told. Every day for the rest of my life. How was that fair? How was it fair that as soon as I found something good in my life, I had to give it up? Nothing in my life had been fair since that day.

~o.O.o~

"How's my favourite fortune teller?" A voice said from the entrance to my tent. I almost started crying when I looked up and saw Jasper smiling at me. He came and sat down opposite me.

"Hey." I said, hiding my sadness as best I could.

"Long time no see." Jasper joked. It's going to be even longer before I see him again...Dad had said tonight was the last show. That meant we'd leave tomorrow. "So tell me," Jasper said, "What does the future look like?"

"I'm leaving." I blurted out.

"Ohh, sounds interesting." Jasper said, "Can you see where to? How long?"

"No, I'm not looking into the future." I told him, "I'm really leaving."

Jasper frowned, "Why?"

"The circus is moving on." I said, and this time I couldn't stop a tear escaping.

"Hey, why are you crying?" Jasper asked, wiping the tear away.

"I don't want to leave you!" I sobbed, "I know we only just met, and I know it sounds stupid! I just...I don't want to leave you behind."

"It doesn't sound stupid." Jasper said, wiping another tear away, "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow." I sniffed.

"Can't you stay behind?" Jasper asked. I shook my head.

"How could I?" I asked, "This is all my family! Besides, it's not like I could get very far on my own..."

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, and then Jasper spoke. "I feel it too, you know."

"What?" I asked.

"I don't want to be apart from you." He said, "From the moment I saw you, I didn't want to be apart from you."

"We won't be back until next year, at least. That's if we come back at all." I said miserably, "I can't be away from you for that long."

Jasper nodded, "Me neither."

I put my head down on the table. "I hate this. This shouldn't have happened. How can I feel so strongly about someone I only met a few days ago?"

Jasper gently lifted my head up, "You told me you believed in love at first sight."

I looked into his eyes for a few seconds, barely able to speak. When I did, it was almost a whisper. "Why did you have to say that?"

"It's true." He told me gently, "I love you, Alice."

"No." I said, "We can't be in love. We _can't._"

"I know you feel the same way." Jasper told me, "I can feel your emotions, remember?"

"That's not what I meant." I said, "Four days, Jasper. I've known you _four days_. And I'm leaving tomorrow. I might not ever see you again. How am I supposed to live without you if I love you? Wouldn't it be so much easier if I didn't?"

"Yes," Jasper said, "But you do."

"I know." I said quietly.

"Can I kiss you, Alice?" He asked.

I wanted to say no, because it would be so much harder to let him go. But I couldn't. I wanted it as much as he did. I nodded, and his lips were on mine; soft and sweet, gentle and loving. I wanted it to last forever, but it was over all too soon. I found fresh tears on my cheeks as he pulled away, but I brushed them away before he could see them.

"This is goodbye?" I said. It wasn't supposed to be a question, because I already knew the asnwer.

Jasper shook his head, "It's not goodbye. Not forever. We'll see each other again, Alice, I promise."

"You can't promise that." I told him.

"I'll keep my promise." Jasper insisted, "Somehow, I'll make it happen."

I knew it wasn't worth filling my head with hopes, but I also knew that some part of me would never give up on Jasper. I wanted so badly for it to be true, that it was easier to just believe that it _would_ be.

But what if it wasn't?

"You should go." I said, not looking at him, "Please."

"Alice..." Jasper said gently.

"Please, Jasper." I whispered. I couldn't drag this out any longer. The sooner he left, the sooner I could try and move on.

I knew, in my heart, that I would never move on.

* * *

I know it's super short, but I also updated super fast :P ANGST! What did you think? Reviews = happiness :)


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